Mistake

This takes a lot to out into words but I fear if I don't I might lose what's left of my mind.

Im just not happy. It's like I'll be in a good mood one second and the next I'm not.

While we were waiting to be seated for dinner last night I was in a giddy and bubbly mood. The best mood I had been in all day.  And it seemed like DH could really care less. Which in turn sent my mood right down.

Then we went to the movie's and Dh didn't like the movie and when it ended was ready to go right away even though it was playing the funnies during the credits. Even though whenever we see a movie he wants to see or likes we wait till the end of the credits to make sure nothing else is going to play. So I made a comment "well I guess you didn't like the movie" and he was like I hate that actress. Well F@ck me huh? I mean WOW! I enjoyed it and laughed through it but you couldn't let me enjoy that could you.

So on the way to the car I can see I-10 from where the movie theater is. And I have to hold back the tears. I want to get on 10 and drive back to MD. I want to go home to were people care that I'm happy, were people can tell Im upset and actually care!! I called an old friend of mine, an ex actually, and cried my eyes out while walking the dog. And you know what he actually cared, he stopped what he was doing to talk to me and clam me down!!

I walked back into the apt and DH was all like were did you go. Didn't even comment on why are you crying nothing. Just looked at me and wanted to know why I was gone for so long, a whole five min.

So I laid in bed last night listening to music and crying all night. He never came to check on me or anything, didn't even sleep in bed. Was on the couch this morning with his shoes still on sleeping.

Earlier yesterday before the dinner and movies we went out cause he wanted to get a computer, even though mine is perfectly good, and blew about 800 like it was nothing. We went into target to return a clock and he was like were you getting anything and I made a comment "I dont have money to just blow on anything like you" and he was like "Well I'm sorry I have money" so of course I blew up and turned around to him and was like "Im sorry I quit my job and moved to f@cking TX for you and am broke cause I didn't have a job for the past 2 months!!!!!"

I mean its all these small things with him and he doesn't understand why I'm upset. This kills me to say and have only told one person this fear, but i think I have made a mistake.

I want to go home.